A DELICIOUS COMPILATION OF SCAMMER COMMONPLACES, FROM THREAT TO MORALISM ("A GOOD CHRISTIAN AND MORAL MAN") TO BUREAUCRATESE.

Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
FBI Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 

Attention: Beneficiary

This is the final warning you will receive from me. This notice has been sent to you in many occassions/ several times but you ignored it.
 
I have warned you so many times and you decided to ignore my e-mails because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, if you fail to respond back to us with the payment details below, then we would first send a letter to the MAYOR of the city where you reside and also direct the bank to close your account until you comply with our directives. Note that all your properties will be confiscated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We would also send a letter to the company/organization you work for so that they could get you fired until we are through with our investigations because a suspect is not supposed to be working for the government or any private organization.
 
Your ID which we have in our database have been sent to all the crimes agencies in America for them to upload you in their website as an internet fraudsters and a terrorist (suicide bomber). Also to warn people from having any dealings or friendly communication with you anymore. This would have been solved all this while if you had gotten the CERTIFICATE ENDORSED AND STAMPED as you were instructed in the e-mail below. I, ROBERT S. MUELLER III, Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) wish to inform you that there is no more time left to waste because you have been given enough grace therefore you have been mandated to comply immediately you read this e-mail if you don't want to be arrested. As stated earlier, to have the document endorsed and stamped without any delay, you must adhere to this directives to avoid you from blaming yourself at last when we must have arrested and sentence you to life imprisonment. Note that all your properties will be seized and bank account will be confiscated too.

As a good Christian and a Honest man, I decided to see how i can be of help to you because i would not be happy to see you end up in jail and all your properties got confiscated because your information was used to carry out a fraudulent transactions. I called the EFCC NIGERIA and they directed me to a private attorney who can help you get the process done and he stated that he will endorse and stamp the document at the sum of $98 only and i believe this process is cheaper for you. You need to do everything possible to get this process done today or tomorrow because i have been informed by the ARREST WARRANT ISSUANCE DEPARTMENT that the warrant of arrest has been prepared against you and once is being signed by me as the FBI DIRECTOR, then the arrest will be carried out in the next 48hours. from our investigations, we learnt that you were the person that forwarded your identification to one impostor/ fraudster in Nigeria when he had a deal with you about the transfer of some illegal funds into your bank account which is valued at the sum of $10,500,000.00 only. You failed to comply with our directives/instruction, and that was the reason why we didn't hear from you. As i have already been notified about you getting the process completed yesterday and right now the WARRANT OF ARREST has been signed against you and it will be carried out in the next 48hours as strictly signed by the FBI director. We have investigated and found out that you don't have any idea when the fraudulent deal was conducted with your information's/identity and right now your ID is placed on our database as a wanted person. I believe you know that it will be a shame to you and your entire family. Also it will be announced in all the local channels that you are wanted by the FBI.

Note: All the crimes agencies have been contacted on this regards and we shall trace and arrest you if you disregard this instruction. You are advised to make the payment for the signing and stamping of the document today, failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally we shall apply for litigation against you. Thereafter, you will appear in ADMINISTRATIVE DISTRICT COURT OF WASHINGTON D.C for terrorism, money laundering and drug trafficking charges. Be warned, do not try anything funny because we are monitoring you  from our satellite.

Meanwhile, I pleaded on your behalf so that this agency could give you till 07/20/2012 so that you can get this process done. Bear it in mind that this is the only way that i can be able to help you at this moment. But if you fail to comply you will face the law and its consequences once it had befallen on you. You will have to make the payment through western union money transfer with the below information then Send the payment details to me as stated below.
 
NAME: OBI JACOB

ADDRESS: LAGOS, NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION: BETTER

ANSWER: BEST

AMOUNT: $98

SENDER'S FULL NAME:

SENDER'S FULL ADDRESS: 

DIRECT PHONE NUMBER: 

MTCN: 

Do not hesitate to make the payment today with the above outlined information so that they will have the certificate endorsed and stamped immediately without any further delay. After all this process is being carried out, then we will have to proceed to the bank for the transfer of your funds valued at $10.500,000.00 only which is supposed to have been transferred to your bank account.

Expecting your anticipated Co-operation.
 
Yours in service,

Robert S. Mueller
FBI DIRECTOR

HERE’S A REAL TEARJERKER: THE APPEAL OF A CERTAIN EMMANUEL BARB (OR IS IT BARB EMMANUEL) WHO, DESPITE THE SPELLING OF “HER” FIRST NAME, IS NOT ONLY FEMALE BUT ALSO “YOUR DAUGHTER.” IS HER BOUAK, CAPE BOUAK IN ALGERIA? IF SO, IT HAS SUDDENLY SPROUTED COCAO PLANTATIONS AND REBEL GROUPS.

Greetings from EMMANUEL Barb

In confidence,i have to introduce myself for I am EMMANUEL Barb , 20 years old, I am the only child of late Mr  EMMANUEL JOSEPH . I prayed before contacting you, please for God sake do not see my mail as embrassment as we do not know each other. I wish to request for your assistance in my efforts to procure the transfer of my inherited money for investment ventures under your care and directive,while you help me to come over to your country to continue my education.

My late father went to Bouak?, A Northern part of the country to negotiate for the purchase of a cocoa plantation when he was shot by the rebel troupes fighting to take over the Government of the country.Though he did not died immediately but after two days at the hospital he gave up the ghost but before his death, he gave me all papers indicating that he deposited a sum Seven Million five hundred thousand  (US7,500,000.00) here in my name with one of the security Company in my country and I will require your assistance in receiving the box as my gaurdian.

Please i am an orphan I need your assistance to get the box transfer to your country and also your assistance to secure a nice school for me in your country where I will continue my education. Please, note that nobody knows the content of the box when my late father deposited it at the security company except only me.

I promise to offer 30% for help and assistance.

Thanks,
Yours sincerely,
Miss EMMANUL Barb

HERE’S AN IRRESISTIBLE VARIANT THAT IS A MASTERPIECE IN ITS GENRE: BAN-KI MOON, DEEPLY OFFENDED BY THE TIDAL WAVE OF INTERNET CRIMINALITY, MOBILIZES THE FORCES OF THE GENERAL SECRETARY’S OFFICE TO PROVIDE SUCCOR. ALONG THE WAY, HE DEPARTS FROM PROTOCOL TO EXPRESS AN ODDLY CHRISTIAN SORT OF PIETY FOR A BUDDHIST.

A GEM IN THE ROUGH.

PEGUY —AS IN CHARLES PEGUY, THE NOTED FRENCH ESSAYIST— IS BORN AGAIN. SHE WAS MARRIED TO PAUL.  WIDOWED AND CHILDLESS, SHE SUFFERS A STROKE AND NEEDS HELP PLACING 2.5 MILLION WITH AN APPROPRIATE CHARITY OR CHURCH. THE QUOTATIONS FROM EXODUS ARE A BIT DODGY, BUT THE PITCH IS PIOUS (AND ALLITERATIVE).

Donation From Mrs Peguy Kipre
BP 38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire .

DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait . I am married to Mr.Paul Kipre who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million and Five Hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in a suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still in the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have seriously sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord.

Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.
I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives is around me always I don’t want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.
Send me the following informations as per below.

Your full names…..
Address ….
Age ……
Occupation …..
photo…………

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs.Peguy Kipre.

In the 2012 issue of the WEIS proceedings, Microsoft Research researcher Cormac Herley has analyzed the advantages for Nigerian scammers of identifying themselves specifically with Nigeria.

The paper abstract reads as follows:

False positives cause many promising detection technologies to be unworkable in practice. Attackers, we show, face this problem too. In deciding who to attack true positives are targets successfully attacked, while false positives are those that are attacked but yield nothing.

This allows us to view the attacker’s problem as a binary classification. The most profitable strategy requires accurately distinguishing viable from non-viable users, and balancing the relative costs of true and false positives. We show that as victim density decreases the fraction of viable users than can be profitably attacked drops dramatically. For example, a $10\times$ reduction in density can produce a $1000\times$ reduction in the number of victims found. At very low victim densities the attacker faces a seemingly intractable Catch-22: unless he can distinguish viable from non-viable users with great accuracy the attacker cannot find enough victims to be profitable. However, only by finding large numbers of victims can he learn how to accurately distinguish the two.

Finally, this approach suggests an answer to the question in the title. Far-fetched tales of West African riches strike most as comical. Our analysis suggests that is an advantage to the attacker, not a disadvantage. Since his attack has a low density of victims the Nigerian scammer has an over-riding need to reduce false positives. By sending an email that repels all but the most gullible the scammer gets the most promising marks to self-select, and tilts the true to false positive ratio in his favor.

A full copy of the essay may be found at http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/people/cormac/.

LITERACY WITHIN THE MILITARY IS ON THE DECLINE (BUT PERHAPS NOT DOWN TO A LEVEL THAT REQUIRES THE USE OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE). SGT. COLSON WAS DOING SOME OIL TRADING ON THE SIDE DURING HER SERVICE IN AFGHANISTAN; SHE WORKS WITH DIPLOMATIC COMPANY. SHE’S EAGER TO CUT HER TRUSTED FRIEND A DEAL HE/SHE CAN’T REFUSE.

Dear Friend,

Greetings,I know you will be surprise to receive this email, but Before I go further I will like you to understand that, I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust, I really wish to have you as my good friend and also wishes to entrust some funds into your care, but I have already send the fund out of Iraq, I feel quite safe dealing with you, .I need your sincere and truthful friendship.I got your contact from your profile.

My name is Sgt.Danielle Colson. I am serving in United States of America Military in Afghanistan. I have $10.5 Million US dollars that I successfully moved out of the country. I need a good partner someone I can trust. It is oil business money we did with Afghanistan citizens worth of 142 million US dollars, but the $10.5 million us dollars stated is my share on the business and it’s legal.

I have successfully moved the funds out of Afghanistan as a family valuable items with the help of Diplomatic Company The most important thing is Can I Trust You? Once the funds get to you, you take your 30% out and keep my own 70%. Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place where my part of the funds will be, until I came to meet with you for discussions on investment plans, but I have more interest on real estate or any other profitable investment. If you are interested I will furnish you with more details. But the whole process is simple and we must keep a low profile at all times. I look forward to your reply and co-operation, and I thank you in advance as I anticipate your co-operation waiting for your urgent response.

My Regards, Sgt.Danielle Colson

THESE SORTS OF COMMUNIQUES ARE A PERSONAL FAVORITE. COMPOSED IN THE STERN VOICE OF INSTITUTIONAL VAULT, THEY COMMAND, ASSERT THE REDUNDANCY OF CONTROL SYSTEMS, THREATEN AND CAJOLE TO REASSURE.

Online Banking Alert

 Account Review Notification  

       Security Checkpoint: This email includes a Security Checkpoint. The information in this section lets you know this is an authentic communication from  Bank of America.    
 

AN INVITATION CLOAKED IN A VEIL OF SECRECY AND EXCLUSIVITY (NOT TO MENTION AGRAMMATICAL CONSTRUCTIONS). VERSION ONE:

Head Office
Islamic Bank of Thailand
66 House Bldg, M 21,22 th Sukhumvit 21 Rd
Klong Toey Nua, Wattana Bangkok 10110

Good Day,

Let me start by introducing myself. I am MR. Pinit Koram, director of operations of the Islamic Bank of Thailand. I have an obscured business suggestion for you.

Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Major Fadi Basem who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Twenty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only in my branch. Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war.

Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that the Major and his family had been killed during the war in bomb blast that hit their home.

After further investigation it was also discovered that Major Fadi Basem did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Twenty Four millions Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration 3 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Thailand Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Major Fadi Basem so that you will be able to receive his funds.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE:

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Major Fadi Basem , all that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you.

There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall negotiate our sharing percentage and agreed on it.

Should you be interested please send me your full names and current residential address and I will prefers you to reach me on the email  address (pinitkoram1976@gmail.com) and finally after that i shall provide you with more details of this operation.

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards
Mr. Pinit Koram

BUT WAIT, THERE ARE DOZENS OF ALTERNATIVE VERSIONS OUT THERE. VERSION TWO:

From: phil hodkinson <phil_hodkinson047@msn.com>
Date: Wed, Feb 11, 2009 
Subject: RE_BANKING BUSINESS

Dear Friend,

Let me start by introducing myself. I am Dr Phil Hodkinson director of operations of the Alpha Bank United Kingdom .I have an obscured business suggestion for you.Before the U.S and Iraqi war, our client Major Fadi Basem who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a numbered,fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of £15,000,000.00 (Fifteen Million Pounds Sterling)only in my branch.

Upon maturity several notice was sent to him,even during the war early last year.Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him.We later find out that the Major and his family had been killed during the war in bomb blast that hit their home.After further investigation it was also discovered that Major Fadi Basem did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank.

So, (Fifteen Million Pounds Sterling)is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it.What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country, at the expiration 4 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the United Kingdom Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.

Against this backdrop,my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Major Fadi Basem so that you will be able to receive his funds.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE:

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Major Fadi Basem , all that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job.Due to lax Inheritance Laws you can claim it quite easily, part of the Funds is with a Deposit House, if you can come to the UK i can arrange all the paperwork for you to claim the money, this will not take more than a day of your time.

After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you.

There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. 

Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue.Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall share in the ratio of 70% for me, 30% for you .Should you be interested please send me your full names and current residential address.

Finally, after that i shall provide you with more details of this operation.

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Regards,
Dr Phil Hodkinson

A MASTERPIECE. TRAGEDY HEAPED UPON TRAGEDY WITH HOPES OF A HUMANITARIAN OUTCOME. RESTING UPON YOUR SHOULDERS. (OF COURSE.)

Mrs. Ramona Moholt
Hviezdoslavova 23
81101 Bratislava
Slovak Republic.

I am Mrs. Ramona Moholt, widow of late Mr. Karsten Moholt who was among passengers aboard Air France Flight 447 that crashed in the Atlantic Ocean en route from Rio de Janeiro Brazil to Paris France on 01/06/2009 killing all 216 passengers and 12 crew members including my husband and my son.

I am presently undergoing medical treatment for ovarian cancer in a Hospital in Slovak Republic. but recently my Doctor told me that my condition has worsened and it is obvious I may not survive unless by special grace of God .We were married for 34 years with a son  Karsten Aleksander Moholt who died along with my husband. Before the death of my husband, he had deposited a sum of Four Million, five hundred thousand (4,500,000 Euro) in a Prime bank hoping to set up trust fund. Presently, the money is still with the Bank unclaimed.  For this I decided to donate the fund for humanitarian purposes through a church, God fearing individual or organization that will use it to support orphanage homes, old people’s homes, widows and propagation of word of God. I took this decision because is what my late husband had always wanted. My husband had earlier decided to establish trust fund before his untimely death.

I therefore request you to accept this proposal and help me to achieve my heart desire by receiving the fund and carrying out the humanitarian projects as appointed administrator. If you accept this offer, you will be entitled to 25% of the 4.5 Million Euro as your running cost or compensation, while the balance should be used for humanitarian projects. I want you to reassure me that you will use this fund in a good way and according to the desire of the Lord you serve, I also want you to give me contact detail,

Your Full Name……….
Your Full Address …….
Your Telephon Number………

So that i will inform the Bank that you will be the sole and beneficiary of our fund which my late husband deposited in their bank and I  will also give you the contact of the bank for you to contact  them and arrange with them on how to transfer the fund to you in your account without any delay.

If you will be of assistance to me more details and proves will be giving to you, please reply immediately I will surely appreciate and thank you for your kindness in giving me this help.

Yours sincerely

ANOTHER AFRICAN FRIEND REACHING OUT WITH A GENEROUS OFFER

I am Miss Salfy Bukary, the daughter of late Chief and Mrs Bukary, I wish to request for your assistance in a financial transaction. And I wish to invest in Manufacturing and real estate management in your country or possible any good lucrative business you know much better than me.  I have (USD$4.5million) to invest in your country, and I will require your assistance in helping me stand as my late father’s foreign business partner who he deposited the consignment on his/her behalf into the security company, the consignment was deposited in Africa and was later moved to Europe where the consignment is now under the care of the security company. Please it is very important you contact me immediately for further explanation on the whole entire work plan.

I wait for your immediate response.
Thanks and God bless.
Best Regards